I'm a father ... at least that is what I'm told. I wouldn't know because I never see my son. He lives in Michigan and I live in New York. I go there once a month though I don't call him much because he being 7 are conversations last for maybe a few minutes before silence. I feel I try but who knows I hear it's not enough, I pay more than required for child support and when I visit we are spending every second with each other. I design and write a news letter now once a month and I send it to Ozzy but I have no idea if he likes it or not.
I do not feel like his dad but more like a concerned uncle. I hate it and I can't explain it but what goes through my head makes me angry, depressed and lost. Of course everyone is going to tell me that's not true but non of them experienced what I'm going through or should. It's easy to say I'm his dad but saying and feeling are two different things all together.
Like I told my brother in law I'm not asking for a line violins ... maybe one ...lol but I'm so frustrated. I feel alone on this and day after day it only gets worse. I'm so lost but whatever ... I head out to Michigan for this weekend even though I was asked not to go ....shoot me now.
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