::: Butterfly :::

I found this butterfly almost two years ago
she was so pretty and cute and wanted her forever.
I placed her in a jar and her aura did glow
this was my butterfly ... let her go? NEVER.

All I wanted was to be a butterfly with her
fly from here to there and let our wings dance all night.
See what she sees, taste what she tastes along side her
so I dreamed at night, day dreamed all day of how to make us right.

Hours into days, sunsets into nights
time continued to fly by.
I did whatever I could to make wrongs into rights
Make her feel the way she made me smile ...no lie.

Reality of course is not one that ends right
this butterfly had to be set free
She knew it, I knew she was right
beauty of earth waiting for her to see.

Off she went to a world filled with happiness and heart break
I stayed back in my world, observing from a distance
reminiscing of the great times we shared and new ones we'll make
watching her fly and dance in the sun, no resistance.

Amazing is this butterfly and best friends are we
despite the fact she isn't mine
This is her world and she must be free to see
When she comes by priceless is our time

I can't help to always want to protect her
be there for her and shelter her from the rain
Dry off her wings and chase away that can hurt her
Though she must discover the world on her own, the happiness and the pain.

I must accept the truth for in the end I only hurt myself
letting go just isn't easy these days.
perhaps I'm selfish to want to keep the butterfly for myself
learn to love but let go in the worlds complicated maze.

This isn't a good bye
just my thoughts written in a rhyme
love one another, we all die
Share your love but set free your butterflies when its the right time.

No trust any more.

It never amazes me any more of the dog eat dog world we live in. People come to you with a problem and you feel bad for them. Take a step back and they are doing the same thing that someone is doing to them to you. So what do you say and better yet how do you trust .... More and more I find myself closing up to everyone around me. How can you trust anymore?

Yes I'm speaking vague but this is about me so I know what I'm talking about. Bottom line, your friends are fucks just like your enemies. However your enemies are out to fuck you over but you know it. Your friends do it behind your back.

In conclusion, man the fuck up amd just say what's on your mind. If I don't like it fine but at the very least your being honest. Doing it behind my back just makes so much more annoyed and push you away from me.

Fuck me for believing in others and giving the benefit of the doubt

Understanding Me

Thinking way to much these days,

Finally making some headway.

I try to be honest with myself as much as possible despite how much it sucks at times. This past weekend I realized new things about me. About the people around me and what I should do however I know it's easier said then done.

I'm aware now how insecure I am these days ... I always was but it explained a few things to me. I see why I was feeling more insecure and it hit me like a smack to the back of my head. My head like a rubix cube was finally another step closer to figuring out who I am.

The sun came out behind the clouds to expose more reality. So now I'm running wild on some BS but the point in this whole discovery ...LOL. I have to be strong and focus on me and leave Mr. Nice guy home. Be responsible and get shit together.

How to get in order is what I have to figure out. Crawl, walk then run as they say, so I will see how it goes. As I crawl and take it slow I willhope that I make right decisions that benifit ME despite it hurts others. I have just been trying to take care of the world, well the people around me and as a result been killing myself. If I continue in my old ways I will gone not able to help anyone.