Still alive yet I feel dead
My heart cries a dark red
Can’t wipe those tears away
I hold my heart and pray.
Muscles tense, blood filed with hurt
Nothing to hold, hands filled with dirt
Eyes scanning for hope as they flood with tears
History shows pain after all these years.
I try to control the war in my head
wanting to run, feet feel like lead
Thoughts running wild,
wishing I can be free, …be a child.
Hating myself for feeling this way
These were my choices, I now pay
Trying to dissect these emotions
Why surprised this is no revelation.
Cut me, I want to feel alive
looking for life’s keys, let me drive
bleed from my skin and not my heart
Life, pain and love, help me set them apart.
Tomorrow, we all say is another day
Done with feeling sad and being gray
I need a fresh start, passed this shit pile
Fight it will be to move forward with a smile.
Still alive yet I feel dead
My heart cries a dark red
Can’t wipe those tears away
I hold my heart and pray.
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